Samstag, 20. August 2011

Everything comes to an end - my last thoughts

Morn genau voreme Jahr bin ich nach Mariposa abgfloge... und jetzt sinds doch scho wieder 2 Mönet her sitt ich zrugg bin. Eigentlich weiss ich gar nid wieso ich nomal en Itrag schribe. Er isch meh eifacht für mich denkt und zum mich selber z'fride stelle, dass ichs durezoge han es Jahr lang z'poste... ufjedä fall fascht. Für'd schuel ide Schwiiz hani müessen en Erfahrigsbricht schribe und ich glaube als Abschluss duen ich de eifach mal da ine stellä. Es isch also kein zuckerschleck gsii de z'schribe. Schöni, luschtigi aber au trurigi Erinnerige sind füre cho und mer sehnt sich zrugg aber isch au froh wieder dihei z'sii. Und eigentlich han ich dä essay au nid so direkt fürd schuel gschribe sondern meh für mich und villicht anderi zuekünftigi ustuschschüeler wo mängisch ratlos sind und hoffnig sueched. wer weiss, villicht hilft de bricht igendöbertem irgendwenn emal. Denn wär das igendwie alles wo ich erreiche han wellä. :) 


P.s. mached oi uf öbis gfasst... er isch lang und natürlich uf Englisch ;)
Graduation

 
Telling someone about a year you’ve spent completely on your own, isn’t the easiest thing to do. Of course, I could tell you that one sentence I’ve been using quite a lot lately: I’ve had one of the best times in my life during my stay in the U.S. But there is way more behind it and I believe that only foreign exchange students are fully able to understand what it means to spend a year abroad. It’s not all about fun, pleasure, and cheerful times as I thought before I started my journey. In fact, being an exchange student is anything but easy.
On August 21, 2010 the day after my 18th birthday, I left my home full of excitement. The farewell was hard but my anticipation was bigger than ever. As I arrived I realized everything was different than I expected. There was no standard family that owned a cute typical American house in a town full of similar houses like you see on Desperate Housewives and all those other series on TV. I was living with a 70 year old lady and another exchange student on a ranch with two horses, two dogs and whole bunch of cats in the middle of nowhere. Maybe I’m exaggerating but living about 20 minutes outside of a tiny town sounds to me like it is pretty out of the way. Mariposa with its population of only 2000 people is nestled in the rugged foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.  Plus, the typical old yellow school bus seriously took one and a half hours every single day on its way home, because he needed to drop off students wherever possible. So what would you say? I experienced the real countryside of America.
The first few days were so exciting. I spent my time outside whenever possible. I rode “my” horse Chance, played with the dogs Sage and T-Bone, explored the unfamiliar landscape, gathered fruits and vegetables, got a golden Californian tan and enjoyed spending time on my own. My host sister Sandra from Sweden hadn’t arrived yet, so I was forced to go to my first day of school all by myself. My host mother Vicki took me there and they signed me in. But then all of a sudden she was gone and I stood there, scared and alone. Shortly after my counselor and I looked through all of the offered subjects which was not easy, I can tell you. I had a choice from about 60 different classes! How was I supposed to pick only six? After a long seesaw I finally had my schedule on paper, but this was not the last time I spent time in the counselor’s office. I ended up getting it changed four times! I either didn’t like a class, it was too hard or most likely too easy.  But back to my first day, I was well received by two girls who apparently were in my senior class. They showed me around school campus, explained me where I had to go for my classes and told me stories about people with names I’ve never heard before. Besides, most of the time I didn’t even understand what they were talking about. The eloquent speaking and their accents were crazy. How naïve of me to think I knew English! Also I realized fast that there were cliques and people did a lot of gossiping. In class I had to introduce myself to the teachers and since I didn’t know anyone I was either sitting in the front or back row and tried to make myself invisible. But as you know, people no matter where they are from are very curious and my plan didn’t work out. I got asked the weirdest and funniest questions you can imagine. ‘Is Switzerland and Sweden the same thing?’ ‘Do you know what an iPhone is? ‘Do you have TV’s in Switzerland?’ And when I took out my phone for the first time: ‘What, you got a cell?’ All I could think of was: ‘I’m not from the moon!’ 
Lunch time was pretty awesome. The two girls I met in the morning luckily took me out to lunch. The senior parking lot was huge but they sure got a reason for that. Everyone who was older than 16 and could afford a car, drove to school. There were cars and of course big trucks everywhere. The oldest and broken ones even made their way around town during lunch. In the afternoon I only had two more periods and after that I was done. Not even with school, my brain was totally tired out because of all the new impressions, questions, and of course the language. It was harder than I thought.

A few days later Sandra from Sweden arrived. The two of us shared a room, went to the same school and rode the horses at least twice a week. We became friends really quickly. We pretty much did everything together and it kind of made it easier for me, because her English was a lot better than mine. She was open-minded and talkative, I on the other hand turned somehow into a shy and quiet girl. There were days I kept my mouth shut for most of the day. I only talked when people came up to me. I never took the first step. When I think back, I have no clue why I was so withdrawn. I guess I was scared of people laughing at me because my English literally sucked. I just wasn’t the person I really am. School became routine. Getting up at 6.15, riding the bus to school, had my first four periods (Spanish, English, Civics/Economics, Art), ate lunch with Sandra, took Drama and Math, rode the school bus home and spent my time doing homework, watching TV and talking to my friends back home. It’s not like I didn’t have any friends, but it was all so shallow. Since my school was pretty small, a lot of people knew who I was. I was often called Swiss cheese and people always greeted me in the hallway. Sometimes people I’ve never seen before knew my name. In a small school, things get around pretty fast I guess. But the thing was all my conversations were almost always about Switzerland or America. I missed having a real friend, I can talk about anything. It was rough but I wanted to make friends and hang out with them, have fun, go crazy. Just do something. On the contrary, Sandra, who was very extroverted, didn’t even try because she just didn’t like Mariposa and the whole situation that much. After 4 months she left and it made me really sad, because she was the only person I really trusted despite our difference of characters and also opinions on pretty much everything.
It all sounds like my first months in Mariposa were bad, but they actually really weren’t. What I said is all true but I would’ve never given up because but there were in fact things I loved a lot. I experienced so much American stuff, like I went our town fair, a Rodeo, a car derby, American football games and big shopping malls. We rode and camped in the outback, hiked in the nearby National Park Yosemite and hugged the huge redwood Sequoia trees. I had my first real Thanksgiving with a big Turkey and tons of other food on the dining table. On my first Homecoming dance at school, I got chosen as a Homecoming princess, which was a lot of fun despite my little embarrassing performance. Before the dance on a Friday night they crowned the chosen people. So I had to walk in front of the school on the football field with my ‘prince’. The grass was slippery and wet and like the other chosen princesses I wore high heels. With my luck, my shoe got stuck in the soft ground and I totally lost it on the field. Everyone laughed and I could hear the whole crowd in the background: ‘Ohhh no…’ I felt myself blushing like never before but people sure kept this memory as typical ‘success’ from the Swiss girl.
I also got to travel quite a bit. With my art class I went to San Francisco and we also had a meeting from my organization STS (Student Travel School), where I met a Swiss foreign exchange student as well. Denise and I got along right off the bat. She lived 2 hours away from me but I met her a lot during my stay there. She also traveled with my host mom and me to Los Angeles, Disneyland and Orange County shortly after Christmas time. It was most definitely one of the most memorable weeks during my exchange. I’m so glad I’ve met her, because seriously I wouldn’t have known what to do without her sometimes.
I started dreaming in English, which was a real relief for me. It gave me hope that things would turn out better. And since Sandra left, I convinced Vicki to host another exchange student. Andrea from New Zealand arrived a few weeks later. School had already started again and things really started working out well. I had more confidence, I was sociable and I got that feeling that I didn’t want to miss any more chances and make the best out of everything.  I became closer to Tana, a girl I’ve always felt comfortable with, we just never got the chance to spend that much time together. We started hanging out a lot and it felt so great that I finally found a friend I could count on whenever I needed. She also introduced me to her friends and they are all such kind, great people. I also became friends with other people who are throughout more than amazing.
Then Andy arrived and I couldn’t have had more luck. She is one of the funniest, wickedest and loveliest people I’ve ever met. Andy, Tana and I were pretty much always together and we made the best memories of all times. For example the three of us bought our 200(!) Dollar dresses for the famous ball called Prom. And Tana also invited us to go to Santa Cruz with her and her mom. We had a fabulous time. The next 5 months were just fantastic. We have grown so close and I will cherish our friendship forever. I found a sister and a best friend for life.
In school a lot of stuff was going on: The school spirit was bigger than ever (something I loved about my school!), dances and sport events took place and other fun activities happened.
During Spring break Andy, the other exchange student Denise, Vicki, her daughter, her best friend and I packed our suitcases and were off to HAWAII! Beautiful as on pictures we enjoyed it as much as we could. I learned Surfing, went snorkeling, observed whales and turtles, sunbathed, shopped and of course fell in love with dreamlike Hawaii.
In May I experienced the traditional American Prom which we bought our fairly expensive dresses for. I also had a date to go with and with a few other people we rode in a limousine to Prom. What an adventure! All in one, it was such a wonderful night.
Also, the senior class mad a road trip to Disneyland. The park opened at 10 p.m. and we spent all night there until 5 a.m.  Lucky me got to go twice while I was overseas. Once again, all I can say: One fantastic night!
Soon graduation took place at Mariposa County High School. Since I was in the highest class I was lucky enough to attend graduation. Everyone got to wear the green caps and gowns and people were pretty nervous about graduating. Not only for me it meant that my exchange slowly but surely came to an end, they all left for college or work soon too. It was sad and tough for all of them but everyone knew, one day we will come back and hopefully see each other again. And there was not a lot of time left for mourning. Graduation night was right around the corner. There was so much fun stuff to do and you could win extraordinary things, for instance I won a Lap Top! I will always remember that night.
A few days later my friends arranged a little surprise party for me. I’m the luckiest person on earth to have such amazing friends.
But then the hardest part was about to happen: Goodbye. It was harder than I ever thought it would be. But I know now, that this is not a real goodbye. I look at it as a ‘See you soon’.  If I know one thing for sure, I will come back one day, because Mariposa is not just a place I lived at for 10 months. It is my second home and it is where a part of my live changed. Where I learned so many things about America and most important about my about myself.
I read this text about ‘Exchange’ once and a part of it said: “Exchange is about learning. It’s not as simple as learning whatever it is that’s told in school, though.  It’s about learning how to listen, how to speak, how to think. Learning who you are, who your friends are, the type of people you want as friends. Learning how to trust your innermost feelings and how to find those feelings in the first place. It’s about learning what’s really important to you and learning what you really don’t give a damn about. Exchange is about how to tolerate, how to accept, how to like, how to love. Learning how to give as well as receive and how to trust that everything will even itself out on its own.  … Exchange is about learning. Learning how to live.“


One of my favorite pictures of the year:)

Love, 
Kim